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  • Carroll Devine

Searching for a Fit

In the 1996 film Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise (as Jerry), has a revelation about his feelings for Dorothy (Renee Zellweger). In a bumbling way, he blurts out his love for her in one of the most memorably romantic lines of all time.

“I love you. You complete me,” he says.

Of course, long before that, Dorothy had realized they were a match, and her response was equally memorable: “You had me from hello,” she says.

What more could we ask for or expect from love, or even from friendship, but this – that one person “completes” the other?

We are all like segments of a puzzle, each one looking for various pieces that fit at all of our sides, at one angle or another. So we aren’t seeking someone who’s just like us, our clone, or even one who agrees with us on everything. The pieces wouldn’t fit, and besides, as someone observed, “If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.”

And another thing: Although some try, no one individual can meet all of our needs in every area, even a loving spouse. It would be akin to searching for one puzzle piece that completely surrounds and fits into all of the nooks and curves of the other.

We need family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and even momentary strangers, of a variety of backgrounds, cultures, belief systems, experience, lifestyles, and personalities in our lives to both broaden and enrich us, to make us the best puzzle segment we can be, and to complement us. We can learn something from everyone we meet, and that in itself is a “fit,” if only small or temporary.

It’s to our detriment when we reject the friendship of someone because he or she doesn’t fit all or most of our angles. We might then never experience a “match” that could complete some part of us.

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